All the Days!!

I am realizing that we are all going to have great days, bad days, blah days and all the days in between. It is so important to stay consistent even on the hard days. You do NOT have to perfect. 

Each an everyday does not have to top your last epic pump, but make habits that stick.

The other day I was in the gym doing my warm up cardio. I wasn’t feeling it. I felt weaker than normal and a lot lest enthusiastic to be working out. Why? I forgot my pre-workout coffee AND I wasn’t into my music. Oops!! These two things really make a difference for me! I love being caffeinated for my workouts and I LOVE music that makes me feel alive.

I stuck with the workout and took my level of intensity down a couple notices to make it bearable. BUT the following day, I DID have my coffee and I DID have an awesome playlist and my workout DID feel incredible!!

So, stick with it and LEARN from your hard days. Try to figure out what helps you stay motivated and just keep up with it. This is only going to change your life if you keep it IN your life!! So, make it a lifestyle!

~Lila  

Saving for a Bikini

The cost of a competition suit is not cheap, and to help with the cost, I have decided to save up and purchase my first suit on Black Friday! I have been browsing websites, looking at photos of bikinis on athletes in natural, indoor and stage lighting. I have been studying customization options, like crystal colors and connectors and I have been finding athletes with similar hair colors and body types as me. It has been so fun planning my bikini! But now the hard parts are here… it’s time to WAIT, train, and save.

I am going to set aside $60 USD each payday (twice a month). This is more than enough to cover the cost. It will allow me to also pick up a practice suit and a tank or two. I plan on purchasing from Angel Competition Bikinis. I love how glamorous and sparkling their suits are. Word on the street is that they have excellent customer services as well. I am SO excited!

~Lila

P.S. The bikini in this post is the Angel Competition Bikinis "Venus ACB776". It is not the suit I plan on purchasing (I'll keep that a surprise for now), but it is lovely! 

Being Your Own Critic Versus Being Your Own Friend

Perfectionism crept in today. Today, I did my free one-on-one session with a trainer at my gym. We did a Fit3D scan, a workout together and a few fitness tests. This was challenging for me mentally. 

First, the scan opened my eyes to what my figure looks like when I am relaxed on day 1 of my period in all of its “glory”. My confidence was up and then…. It wasn’t. Hello not-so-flattering 3D images!! 

Then, there was the workout & fitness tests. I did great on my lunges and plank time, but man, are my hips tight. This effects how deep I can get into my squats and it also effects my range of motion in my legs and stretches. I need to work on this. Getting a personal trainer and doing yoga was recommended.  

After our session together, the trainer and I discussed the option to work weekly with a trainer and pay monthly. Oh, how I WISH I could afford this. Expert help like this would give me confidence in my form and training. It would be fabulous! Unfortunately, this was way outside of my budget. So, it was disappointing to let it sink in how helpful this would be and how I absolutely cannot take advantage of this.

After my one-on-one training session was over, I was left feeling out of shape, under equipped to get my forms down and so very far from all of my fitness goals. I also lost the confidence to lift after that (for the day). I felt all eyes on me to get those forms down correctly, when I struggled with my trainer today, very publicly. So, instead, I got onto the treadmill, set it to a 7 incline (about half way to full incline) and walked, then jogged, then ran at a very manageable pace for 10 minutes. This run helped me overcome my negative feelings. 

During the run I reminded myself how bad I want this, how serious I am about trying my best, despite my small budget & how far I have come.  That got me feeling better.

The old me would have looked at my 3D images and would have slipped into a depression for at least the rest of the day. The old me would have lost hope and shoved my dreams of being a bikini competitor to the side. The old me would have said, “Competing is for the elite, you are not up there. You have such a long way to go. Settle. Settle for being an active mom. Be thankful for what you have, but don’t try too hard and disappoint yourself. You’re never going to look fit enough. It’s expensive anyway. Don’t be so selfish!! Spend the money on your kids or a family vacation instead. What business do you have spending that kind of money on a suit, a tan, a show etc. Please!!” 

But this is the NEW me. I am dealing with all of these old habits of feeling this way. I am working through them. I am choosing EVERY SINGLE DAY to BELIEVE in myself and keep trying, training and dreaming. Hope is not lost. But it feels a little dim at the moment. I will not lie.

I thought about how I would cheer a friend up if these were HER results instead of mine. I am way too harsh on myself, but ask me about my friends and it is a whole different story. I am quick to praise my friends, encourage them and help them see the positive. I want to see my friends happy, hopeful and proud. So, as weird as it sounds, I am choosing to love myself and speak to myself as much as possible the way I would speak to a friend.

As my own friend this is what I would say to myself, “Lila! You are doing so great!! Seriously. You have changed so much! I wish you could see yourself on that 3D scan when you started your nutrition and training in March. I know you’d see a huge improvement.

You have stuck to eating gluten free, and dairy free (minus a few dairy treats) and you have avoided so much sugar!! I know how hard it was to change your nutrition, especially with those sweet cravings.

Your chances of getting adult onset diabetes have dropped and you can keep up with your kids. Your mood has improved, your attitude has improved and you have had so many no-scale victories, like fitting in your clothes better and having more confidence.

Don’t give up now!! Keep going. Keep checking your progress. You will be amazed at the changes.

If you make this a lifestyle, you will continue to improve. Give it time! It takes a lot of time to see the changes you want, but man, is it worth it. Time will pass either way. So, why not continue to go after your dreams. Take it one step at a time. I am SO proud of you!

You are an awesome mom and you are setting such a great example for your kids. I know they must be proud of you.

One day, you are going to inspire other moms who are feeling the way you do *right now* to keep going and stay positive, even when they don’t feel like they are enough.

Be your own inspiration. You’ve got this!!”

If you have ever felt like this, know you are not alone. I understand. Let’s keep working through our mental hurdles, and achieve our dreams one step at a time.

~Lila

P.S. I will be sharing my Fit3D images from today, but not yet. I am very thankful to have this data to compare to my at-home tape measurements and to my caliper pinch test results. Both tests (the Fit3D and the caliper pinch tests) gave a different Body Fat % number. It’s interesting comparing the two. I am going to continue to record my data and I will continue to test my body fat etc. with the caliper test AND Fit3D tests. I plan on testing with both, every 2 months. However, I am going to wait to show the images from today until I can compare them to my new results in 2 months. This gives me the opportunity to feel positive with an improved update. I like this!! You’ve got to do what feel right! I will be sharing the measurements in my next post along with my body fat % from today's 3DFit scan. So, look out for my measurement post and have an awesome day!

Biweekly Weigh-In, Measurements and Body Fat %

Hello Lovelies!! I hope you are all having a great week! This is my first biweekly check-in. I did NOT feel it yesterday. I felt sore (from Monday’s leg and glute day… yes MONDAY) and I felt heavy and bloated. Yesterday I said goodbye to my dad after his 9-day stay and that had me feeling a little down and emotional, but also very grateful for having such a great dad in my life. I wasn’t as strict with my nutrition during the visit and I definitely stopped tracking macros, but I did eat as clean as possible at home and out at restaurants. It’s back to the grid and I am very excited to see what the next biweekly check-in will bring.

Today I did something new! After my weigh-in and measurements, I packed up Wesley and myself, and we headed out the door. He played at the CDC (Child Development Center) while I went to my body fat appointment at a gym on base. This was a seven site caliper “pinch” test. The pinches were not bad at all, except in my leg. Ouch! I listened to the advice given, and came in well hydrated. This helped with my skin/fat/muscle separation.

Here are my results… Photos, weight and measurements were done first thing in the morning, fasted on May 10th, 2019. 

Weight:

Home Scale: 138.2 lbs

Gym Scale: 137 lbs

Lately, my weight has been fluctuating daily. It goes down and then it creeps back up and then it dips down a little lower, then the cycle repeats. Prior to lifting, my weight dropped faster, but I understand that a lot goes on while transforming with weights. You tear, you hold water, you build muscle, and muscle weighs more than fat… I trust the process. I feel tighter in my clothes and I am in that weird stage with my clothes were nothing really fits, but it’s a little soon to replace everything in my closet. So, for now, I’ll deal with the baggy clothes and let them remind me of my progress. Side note: I will not be tossing out any of the clothes I like. I have no idea how my body will transform in the year to come and beyond. I am hoping and praying for booty gains, so I’ll keep all of my jeans etc. and see what fits down the line.

Measurements:

·         R Forearm: 9.25”

·         L Forearm: 9”

·         R Upper Arm: 10.19”

·         L Upper Arm: 10.06”

·         Chest: 34”

·         Bust: 30.25”

·         Midriff: 29.25”

·         Waist: 29.75”

·         Abdomen: 33”

·         Hips: 36”

·         Buttocks: 38”

·         R Upper Thighs: 22.38”

·         L Upper Thighs: 22.38”

·         R Mid Thighs: 21.18”

·         L Mid Thighs: 21.25”

·         R Lower Thighs: 18.13”

·         L Lower Thighs: 18.06”

·         R Knee: 13.25”

·         L Knee: 13.25”

·         R Calf: 13.13”

·         L Calf: 13.13”

·         R Ankle: 7.5”

·         L Ankle: 7.68” (burn scarring, under 6 mo. of healing)

Body Fat % Caliper Test Results:

·         Body Fat: 24.8 %

·         Lean Body Mass: 104 lbs

·         Fat Mass: 33 lbs

·         Chest: 23 mm

·         Thigh: 21.5 mm

·         Abdomen: 19.5 mm

·         Tricep: 19.5 mm

·         Subscapular: 19.0 mm

·         Midaxillary: 17.0 mm

·         Suprailiac: 15.5 mm

Progress Photos:

~ Lila

Today's Thoughts on Comparisons and Feeling Defeated

Today, I was feeling a little defeated. I did the comparison thing again... I was watching "show day" videos of gorgeous gals who are not postnatal and have flat & tight tummies. They looked fabulous!! They had abs! They looked different than me. 

I have stretchmarks and some loose skin and my tummy isn't as flat as can be. I am postnatal and I always will be. I felt like I couldn't hold a candle to these women. I thought, "If they were my competition, I would not even place!! But here is the thing, this goal of mine keeps me going, it's helping me train and transform my body for the BETTER. I don't know what I will look like a year from now. What will I look like after I gain muscle and then come out of a prep? I need to give myself a fighting chance. I need to stop the comparisons this early on. 

Yes, comparisons are a PART of bikini competitions, but I do NOT think it is fair for me to compare my beginning to someone's show day ending. 

So, what if I can't fully tighten and flatten my tummy? Well, I am looking into different suit cuts and options. A high rise can help hide a little loose skin or a c-section scar. This is great news!! But, ultimately, I AM going to that stage in about a year. I AM going to give this my best shot and I WILL be proud of the postnatal package I bring to stage, placing or not. 

This is about so much MORE than placing. It is about chasing my goals and living my best life, in front of my kids. I never want to stop dreaming and achieving and I want my kids to have that same spirit. 

Never stop chasing your dreams. Don't give up in the beginning. Track your progress and see what you can do! 

~Lila

Look Out for...

...new measurements in inches and weight in pounds every other Friday, starting on May 10th! This will keep me accountable. It will also be a great way to see progress. 

~Lila

I *Almost* Skipped the Gym

Today was packed!! I dropped off my kids at school, turned around and drove home to eat, went right back to the school for my kids' talent show, then grabbed lunch and took a friend to the DMV.

Later, I stopped by Starbucks to grab a thank you gift for a friend and then, had to make a gas station stop to pull cash to pay our lawn mower. Oy!

Tonight, in just a few hours, my dad is flying in to stay with us. Parts of the house still need to be cleaned and I still need to make a casserole I promised him. BUT, I decided to go ahead, and take 2 hours for ME. I needed it today. It was a fun, but stressful day. I lost myself in the shuffle and I got to refocus and get a little closer to my goals in the gym.

I did 30 minutes of cardio, followed by abs, then 12 minutes walking on a incline on the treadmill and to finish it off, 15 minutes in the sauna. I am tired and a little sore from previous workouts, but I am proud of what I accomplished today and I do feel less stressed. It's a win in my book!

Today, I discovered that I can get a 7 day free pass for out of town family. My dad is excited to workout with me!! So, it looks like I don't have to pass on the gym while he is here!! That is an awesome surprise.

Tomorrow is a much earned rest day. Woohoo!

~Lila